For Real

6:01 am.

The clock quietly changes the figures and now it is 6:02… 6:03…

Minutes go by one after another and vanish without a trace. The alcohol takes over the imagination and makes bad jokes with it…


There’s the door bell. Why should he get up?!

A sigh.

And a smell of alcohol steams.

The door bell doesn’t stop. Now the insolent guy from the other side of the door is leaning on the bell having no intention to let go until sees the door open!


One hour of sleep is not enough for recovery…

“…Early this morning…”

Hard and heavy steps through the corridor.

Door opens with creak.

- Hi!

- Down the corridor – the red door.

He tries to close the door.

“…When you knocked upon my door…”

She reaches and holds it.

- No! I’m looking for… you! I have something important to tell you!

- Do I know you?!

- That’s pretty rude of you but I forgive you. From now on we should get along with each other. I have something important to tell you!

***

- Go shoot yourself!!! I see you for the first time in my life, stupid whore!!! Get lost!

- Why do you have to behave like that?! I think I was delicate and tactful enough…

- I’ll call the police if you don’t get the hell out of here! I’m not kidding!

- Not to remember is swinish but to act like that is a crime and you’ll pay for that very soon!!! You’re wrong if you think you can go on just like that!!! Piece of trash!!! Bloody piece of trash!!! I’ll come back soon and then you’ll see! You’ll be sorry.

- I’m already sorry. I’m sorry they let you out of the madhouse and you came exactly on me.

***

“…Early this morning…”

Door bell rings…

One hour of sleep is not…

Creak…

- Are you Elson Turgenev?!

- Yes. Yes, why?! Is there a problem…?

- Yes, sir… (the uniforms stretch, hands reach, fingers bend into an iron grip.) …you should come with us to the station to answer few questions! You have the right to remain silent…

- Wait!!! That’s a mistake! What are the accusations…?!?!

- … everything you say might and will…

- What are the accusations; I haven’t done anything! ANYTHING!!!

- … be used against you in court. You have the right to have attorney…

- Let me go now. You’ll be very sorry!!!

Swing.

Burning pain.

Pulsing blaze. And black curtain (sound of approaching train). Distant (coming from the highest mountain and deepest cave) fading voice:

- … if you can’t afford it there will be public attorney appointed…

Darkness…

***

- Don’t I have at least the right for a phone call?!

- NO!

Lights go off and the only glow is from far away in the corridor.

Sound of squeaking bed. Smell of sweat.

- Hey! Who are you?! How long you’ve been here?!

(…)

- No… you see… it’s a mistake… they made a mistake… a crazy girl accused me for being the father of her child…

- Oh, how I hate guys like you!!!

Hit. Hit. Hit.

His head is in the toilet plate almost voluntarily. Sound of flushing water. The ears are filling with water, nostrils too. It continues for too long.

Too long.

The water flows… the blood mixes with it and goes down through the hole to somebody’s shits and wastes. Wounds are painful and burn from the water. Strong smell of cleaning preparation. Lemon and bleaching powder. Mixed with smell of urine. Rusty stripe pointing down the dark hole. The abyss of the purgatory.

He goes out on the surface and takes deep breath.

***

- Your bill’s paid. You’re going out.

- Fucking son of a bitch! I’ll break your fucking head!!!

- HEY!!! Leave him alone! Let him go!

***

- I told you, you won’t go with that this easy. You shouldn’t have treated me that way!

The water is still running down his hair, face, through the eyelids, down the shoulders…

- Who are you?! I’ve never seen you in my life!

Hit through the face.

“…When you knocked upon my door…”

- Behave mannered!

Burning pain.

- People, there’s a mistake! Big mistake! I don’t even know what you’re accus…

- You promised this girl to marry her. Made her a child and ran away after that.

- I saw her today for the first time in my life! And besides even if it was true, you can’t treat me like that. There are courts which will decide. It’s very easy – DNA analysis will be made and you’ll see there’s a mistake. You can’t arrest me for such a thing, that’s unthinkable. Impossible! Unthinkable… never… how… you are all fucking pigs! Go screw yourselves, fuckers!!! Even if I am the father you can make me pay alimony. YOU CAN’T ARREST ME!!!

Hit with a stick in the back of the neck.

Darkness.

***

- Is he ready to confess?

- He’s still playing games. Pretends he doesn’t know what this all is about.

- He will know!

Anger.

- Who the hell are you, shithead?!

- Father of the girl you disgraced. We’ll make you sorry.

We’ll make you sorry. WE!!!

***

- Your honor… I don’t want even to make a suggestion on how we came to this! All this looks more like a bad dream than a process. From the beginning I was put under inhumane tortures in the police station.

***

- Dr. Danergine, do you confirm that the results from the blood and DNA tests are positive?

- Absolutely, your honor. After two extra samples, which are necessary in our profession, we came to conclusion that Mr. Turgenev is the father…

***

- This court finds you guilty on the charge of deception, bearing false witness, escaping the justice and if it was up to me, Mr. Turgenev – moral and ethical violation of human standards and rules…

… I sentence you to three years in prison and you should be paying alimony in size of 10 000 per month…!

- WHAT!!! You have no right! You… you are a fucking bastard! I’ll break your…! You’ll die in your own shits!!! That can’t be happening… can’t be for real!!!

- … unless, Mr. Turgenev, you agree to marry this girl that you so uncleanly disgraced!

***

Darkness.

***


- You may kiss the bride!

***

- I love you!

- I hope you rot in hell, bitch!

***

There are so many ways… so many different ways…

One of them is when you stop measuring the time with a clock but with a calendar…

Years go by…

Staring at the wall in front of you.

For life…

For real…

Fuck it…

***

- Mr. Turgenev, welcome back to my court room. This time we won’t be so indulgent with you. You’re going to face the whole strictness of the law. Murder is a heavy crime.

***

- … on charges of murdering Sillia Turgenev, wife and mother of their only child, we found the defendant Elson Turgenev guilty!


***

For life.

***

Sound of squeaking bed. Smell of sweat.

***

Forever.

***

For real.

***

“…And I said: “Hello, Satan, I believe it’s time to go”…”

----------------

First published in Thieves Jargon, 9 June 2006